In Presence of Her Smile

The thrust of all my energy is spent,

I move automaton in my domain,

My vision dulled and all her beauty rent

By death and all my days by pain.

Distraction's forces have assaulted me

Upon a ground I once had thought secure,

Closed is the wide approach to sanctity

As beliefs once held are now no longer sure.

I cannot move and yet I fill the round

Of days and write my meaningless replies,

For all the happiness that once I found

Has faded as the light within her eyes.

The world we think we know is a charade

And what we see as real illusion's mask

When all life's plans are suddenly waylaid

Forgotten is the goal, the ages task.

Will I return to till the fields of hope

The path ahead find energy to climb

Or will I veer towards the downward slope

Once joyous limbs accept the lash of time.

Perhaps surrender is the only key

And sacrifice to a God dimly known,

Or will I wander through eternity

On obscure soil where seeds of doubt are sown?

Shall I still called by promptings of the soul

Respond or feel the weight of days descend

Upon the body, their oppressive toll

Signalling this earthly journey's end.

I must awake to higher Self and dare

The unplumbed depths, attempt the unscaled heights,

To breathe again that supernature's air

As once I opened to the soul's delights

In days when brilliant roses seemed to pale,

Their attar lost in presence of Her smile,

God's promise that our effort would not fail

And love all human sorrow reconcile.